I swear my sister and I were best friends growing up. We played together all day long. I don't recall a single fight (not counting the teen years of course). It now seems pretty ridiculous that I assumed my own daughters would feel the same way with each other. They don't. They are usually either fighting or my oldest is ignoring the little one entirely. Riley seems to want nothing with Sunder. She spends hours in her bedroom with the door closed so she can be away from her. Of course these two girls with polar opposite personalities have only been together for two months. I know their relationship will ebb and flow as all relationships do. But I've had to reconcile with the possibility that they may never like each other much. They may never share the close bond that I had with my sister.
I began to wonder, "Am I idealizing the relationship I had with my sister?" I called my sister and my mom and they both agreed. We did indeed get along fabulously. None of us remembers even an ounce of conflict. But, my mom made a good point during our conversation. She said maybe we only remember the good times because that is mostly what we had. The few bad times had been long forgotten. I hope she is right. I hope that over the years my girls will have many happy times together. Even a few would be nice! And I hope that these are the things they remember when they look back on their relationship with each other.
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3 comments:
Our little girls are opposites, also and it has taken time for their relationship to grow. They have been together eight months now and are having lots of fun! I felt that 6 month seemed to be a turning point for them.
April
The fact that you aren't pressuring them to be best friends will probably be a big factor in helping them gradually bond together as a family. But you're right, I don't think most siblings are best friends, though it can happen. The age difference is a factor, too. At different stages my brothers and I basically coexisted for years at a time. We became much better friends as we neared adulthood, and we will always have that shared family experience in common.
I think you are handling it all very well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts along the way!
Oh my, sounds just like my sister and me. One vacation she actually stayed in the closet with her walkman and completly ignored me! I don't think we are scarred from the event....well, it must be 30 years later and I still remember so maybe a little scarred :) i am sure that soon they will be the best of buds...don't worry!
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